A girlfriend whom I hadn’t seen in ages recently dropped by. She took one look at me and said, “You look different… and it’s not just the weight loss.”

And I thought to myself… I know, gurlfrand, I knowwww.

Because the truth is, I feel different — really, really different — in the best possible way.

However, before I kick off this story, let me just say that I am very aware this is not my usual how-to-build-a-better-house post.

Instead, this post is going to get far too real for my liking, and my tummy feels funny about that. But I’m doing my best to ignore it and push on because I admire others who lead with transparency in this otherwise manufactured and airbrushed space, and I have always strived to do the same.

So, if you happen to be an exhausted, middle-aged, middle-class (all the middles) woman sporting a muffin top, who loves their family fiercely and feels pulled in a million different directions, then this is for you.

If, however, you’re looking for house inspo — hang fire — because I’m about to share a gorgeous new Booken House from Central Victoria (and here’s the teaser!)

This story begins last winter.

I think, on reflection, I was experiencing a lil’ bit of burnout at the time; although, one of my much smarter friends tells me there’s no such thing as a little bit of burnout, you’re either fried or you’re not — and I was fried.

I had spent twenty-two years stuck in fast-forward, and suddenly, someone jammed the pause button on, and I couldn’t un-stick it.

I had no idea what had hit me; all I knew was that it felt bad. The lethargy, the lack of motivation, zero energy, and low self-esteem… urghhh.

We women of a ‘certain age’ (alright, alright, I’m 49) experience some wild changes; the kids leave home (or most of them do — hello thirteen-year-old late fourth child of blended family), peri-menopause rears its confusing ugly head, careers change or stagnate, and society tells us we are getting old, fat and wrinkly.

But mostly, I had spent 22 years putting everyone else’s needs before mine, and the mental load was freakin’ exhausting (there’s a great podcast recommendation on this below).

It had been decades of plate spining — a chatoic mix of striving to be a good wife, working four days a week out of the home (and then later building my own incredible, purpose-led business… not so humble brag, much?), and raising four amazing, independent kids who are the light of my life, even though most of them don’t need me as much any more (although, I still seem to be needed when the sh*t hits the fan or they don’t know how to do their taxes).

My identity was, and still is, firmly entrenched in being useful, liked, productive, needed, and the resident problem solver (aka the rock).

And always, ALWAYS, busy.

I don’t think I was clinically depressed last winter (or maybe I was?), as I still wanted to spend time with my loved ones and engage in the parts of my work I love; however, I had well and truly lost my spark.

And for the life of me, I couldn’t find that little &*&^# anywhere.

I should also clarify that I have an autoimmune condition (inflammatory disease) that I was diagnosed with decades ago (I discuss the stressful period of my life that triggered this on the Motherland Podcast with Australian of the Year for Tassie, Steph Trethewey, here).

Basically, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and Ankylosing Spondylitis. My body gets confused and can’t tell the difference between a pathogen and my normal cells, and it starts attacking itself, which impacts my mobility and causes pain. Lots of it.

I’m not particularly special, however, because there are a great many of us walking around with some form or level of inflammatory disease (think Crohn's, thyroid issues, severe acne, Endometriosis, IBS - there are over a hundred of the mothers), and many people are suffering in silence.

But I digress.

Last winter, I suddenly found myself in a situation where I could no longer engage in certain parts of my life, no matter how hard I tried.

Let’s take Instagram, for example. After years of loving it, I found myself hating the very sight of it.

Whenever I opened the app, I would have a physical, almost visceral reaction. I didn’t want to be there. Everything seemed manufactured for doom-scrolling or evoking rage, and it was succeeding on all levels.

I knew I needed to keep showing up online for my business and the Booken Blend community that I love so dearly, so I put pressure on myself to push past these feelings, making bargains with myself and even rewarding myself when I did show up.

But no matter how hard I tried, the love affair was over.

Thankfully, I could still happily do all the functional tasks for Booken Blend, but my creativity had all but left the building.

The longer this went on, the more it became clear to me that my creativity is directly linked to my wellness, and given my wellness was in the proverbial toilet, so was my creativity.

Now, to be fair, there were a few curve balls I was dodging and weaving at this time, and it’s only on reflection that I can see how much of a toll these took on my stress levels.

I’m the kind of person who may seem to be handling hard things well, likely because, in that moment, I am dealing with them well (we mums are gold at that). I’m good at getting sh*t done in a crisis — if I do say so myself — and I find it easy to dig deep and problem-solve.

However, the stress ultimately catches up with all of us somewhere.

And you know what they say… the body keeps the score.

On November 6, I received a call from two different doctors.

One was recalling me for a breast screen, and the other was letting me know they had found some pesky, uninvited masses in my uterus, and they thought they should uninvite them with a little bit of surgery.

DON’T STRESS, this part of the story ends well.

All my biopsy results came back negative (phew), and my heart goes out to everyone battling this insidious, cruel disease #fcancer.

But at the time, there was a brief moment where I thought a Big C diagnosis would make a lot of sense, as it would explain why I was feeling so sh*te all the time.

Also at that time, we were dealing with a frustrating legal issue.

I won’t bore you with the details here (it’s a whole post all of its own), but in a nutshell, two separate entities stole the Booken House design and passed it off as their own.

Now, all house designs are copyright-protected, meaning you can not copy all or part of another person's or company’s design without their permission.

This is why we offer our Booken House Design Packs in various commitment levels. It allows those who want to replicate our home, or parts of it, to purchase copyright permission and, therefore, get the green light to benefit from the years and years of research, creativity and planning that went into designing Booken House (aka intellectual property or IP).

Stealing someone else’s IP is the same as breaking into their living room and stealing their TV.

It’s not ok.

Rectifying the copyright infringements meant juggling lawyers and making tough decisions; truthfully, I just wanted to hide under my bed and pretend it wasn’t happening (and, frustratingly, we have more infringements to follow up, thank you to the incredible BB community who bring these to our attention, we are eternally grateful).

Actually… now that I write this down, I can see that 2024 was less than ideal.

I also want to mention here that, although this was all rather sucky, I was still living a very privileged life, and it feels self-absorbed to complain in the current world climate.

And I suppose that’s part of the problem; I never lost sight of how much I love my life, and it frustrated me beyond measure to know that even though I have a great life, I couldn’t fully appreciate it because I was feeling so… crap.

Besides, tough times shouldn’t be a competition; my ‘tough time’ may be chicken feed compared to someone else’s, but it’s ok to acknowledge that it is hard.

Essentially, I had found myself in a position where I had no choice but to change or accept that this was how my life would look — and feel — forever.

And that was no longer bearable.

Here might also be a good place to drop an almighty thank you to my husband, my partner in crime, my ride or die… Boots.

They say a marriage should be 50/50, but most of the time, this is simply not true. I think it’s Brene Browne who says that sometimes one of you will need to carry more of the load, and then the pendulum swings, and the other one steps up.

This is definitely the case for us, and Boots stepped up last winter in every possible way. He did everything from cooking dinner for months on end to sitting in the car outside St Vincent’s Hospital for six hours (because they wouldn’t let him in with me) while I waited in a dingy waiting room for my fate.

So, What Did I Change?

Fast forward to now, and I am the new, shiny, Ferrari version of Lisa (well, mostly, I still have the odd rough day, don’t we all?).

I have increased energy levels, reduced my medications, lost 10 kg, minimised stress, and finally have a settled tummy. My puffy chipmunk face is disappearing, the creativity is returning, and I notice more joy and glimmers again.

Oh, and I sleep like a baby (btw, is this, perhaps, the dumbest expression ever known to man? Pffft, babies don’t sleep).

I can safely say, I haven't felt this well in 20 years.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, ‘What the hell did you do?!’

And I’m getting to that, I promise (although spoiler alert, there was no magic bullet).

But before I jump into the what and how, let me start with a caveat.

The tools and people I am going to share have all helped me immensely. However, I am in NO WAY advocating that these are the be-all and end-all, or that they will work for you.

In fact, finding your unique combo of things that work for you will require a great deal of experimentation and persistence… oh, and failures; let’s not talk about the first time I fed my family edamame pasta, woahhhh it was a gasey household that night (TMI?).

So, if some things on my list can add an idea or two to your tool kit, great.

I also want you to know that when I went down the health-overhaul rabbit hole, it was likely successful for two reasons.

Firstly, I had bottomed out.

They say the body will whisper to you first, and if you don’t listen, then it will roar, and my body had been whispering for 22 years.

The inflammation, the slow and steady weight gain around my middle, the puffiness. The pain, the upset stomach, the exhaustion and sleepless nights.

They were all the whispers, and I didn’t (or couldn’t) listen to them.

So, my body (and mind) roared.

Secondly, I had the brain space and support to tackle something like this for the first time in decades. Three of my children had left home, I was working flexible hours, and Boots was right there with me, cheering me on and picking up the slack.

I feel no judgment for past Lisa, who didn’t have the time, means or energy to tackle these things; she was doing her best.

I would also just like to quickly note that I have not provided affiliate links to my ‘helpful hints’ below (affiliate links are the things you click on to go directly to view or buy whatever wonder item someone is yabbering on about, and then they receive a financial kickback from your purchase). These give me the ick, so I don’t do it — soz! Google will just have to be your friend.

So, here is my list of the six major things I changed in my life…

How I Fuel My Body

Boots always bangs on about putting premium fuel in our car to make it run more efficiently and avoid future problems *eyeroll*.

I think it’s just an upsell that costs more, so I like to grumble loudly about it.

However, I have — weirdly — been thinking lately about how much the human body reminds me of a car engine.

Like cars, our bodies only have the fuel we put in them to do their job, and therefore, if we use low-quality, dirty fuel, we are more likely to end up breaking down on the side of the metaphorical road.

This is why I’ve put fuel, er, I mean food (whoa back on the car references, Lisa) as the number one most impactful change I’ve made. Because the positive results I’m experiencing are very likely due to what I put in my mouth, or more accurately, what I DON’T put in my mouth!

These days, I avoid ultra-processed foods, sugar, and refined carbs.

When I mentioned this to my girlfriend over our nut-milk lattes (cue eyeroll again), she said, “So what the f$&* do you eat then, cardboard?!”

Lol.

Nope. I eat whole foods, and lots of them.

Lots of protein, good fats, and fresh fruit and veg. Basically, I eat as much real food as I want — if I’m hungry, I eat; there is no restriction. This works well for me because I’m no good when I’m hangry… just ask my family.

After doing lots of research on food, I stumbled upon an online nutritionist called Health with Bec.

I binge-listened to her podcast, Body Bites with Bec (if you’re interested, go back to the first episode and work your way through), and so much of what she said made sense to my science-loving brain.

It was logical and doable, and what did I have to lose by giving her 3-Week-Reset a go?

I am now six months in, and I have found a lovely 80/20 balance, where I can indulge 20% of the time and still maintain healthy habits 80% of the time (according to Lisa math, that means it’s ok to eat 20% of the block of dark chocolate in the fridge… right?).

Some of you may have also heard me talk about my dreadful Coke Zero addiction (I talk more about this in the Motherland podcast episode mentioned earlier). The little black can of death had snuck back into my life last winter, and it was wreaking havoc. Those chemicals are serious bad news.

But something amazing happened once I improved my nutrition. My body was now receiving the quality fuel it needed, and therefore, it no longer craved a hit from Coke Zero (bluddy hell, my hubby might be right about premium fuel… no one tell him I said that).

Unbelievably, within two days of eating cleaner, I was able to kick Coke Zero cold turkey… and it was kind of easy.

I’m also happy to report that there have been no complaints from the fam about our new way of eating — which is lucky for them really, because otherwise they’d starve to death ;)

(Btw, that’s a Sodaly Jedda is drinkin’, not a Fire Engine, lol).

HELPFUL HINTS

PODCAST: Diary Of A CEO: The Dopamine Expert - Doing This Once A Day Fixes Your Dopamine with Dr Anna Lembke — by far the most useful podcast I listened to for changing my habits.

PODCAST & WEBSITE: Body Bites with Bec & Health with Bec.

SWAP IT: They say if you are struggling to give something up, swap it, don’t stop it. I've found that swapping Coke Zero for Sodaly really helps when I am looking for a hit of bubbles (it is available at most supermarkets).

2. Sleep, Glorious Sleep

I have a poor relationship with sleep; it’s like a bad boyfriend that I want the attention of, and the more elusive it is, the more I covet it.

I have no doubt that my poor sleep hygiene is a hangover from the years of being a single mum, of never getting more than a few short consecutive hours in a row, and never, ever, enough. All I can say is, there’s a very good reason they use sleep deprivation as a torture method.

My new sleep regime has, therefore, changed my life.

And it’s dead simple: if it’s not a special occasion (ie out with friends or entertaining), then I go to bed between 10 and 10:30 pm.

That’s it.

And like some kind of miracle sent down from the sleep gods, the vast majority of the time, I wake up at 6 am refreshed and ready for the day.

Back in the day, I would rage-stay-up. It was the only time that was my own, where the house was quiet and no one needed me, so why should I go to bed and not have this time?

Er, because lack of sleep was slowly but surely unravelling you, Lisa. Duh.

I also try to think of my bedroom these days as a sanctuary; there is a no phone rule, we installed floor-to-ceiling curtains to block all light (a facemask would do the same thing), and I shouted myself beautiful new bed linen.

Besides, a bedroom should only be for two things, right ;)

HELFPUL HINTS

PODCAST: The Imperfects: Maria Ruberto - Sleep Your Way To Your Top

TEA: I call it sleepy tea, but it’s actually called Native Sleep by Roogenic. I have one an hour before bed and start a bit of a wind-down, such as dimming the lights, limiting screen time if I can, etc.

TOPICAL CREAM: If I have achy joints, I rub Salt Lab Magnesium Cream into them before bed.

3. Bust a Move

I walk every single day… well, almost.

I never aim to set records; I just listen to my body to see how fast or far I should go, and it’s always outdoors — rain, hail, or shine (who doesn’t love a nature dopamine hit?)

Yes, it’s good for my body, but to be really honest, I do it for my mind. When I walk, my mood improves, my thoughts become clearer, and my resilience increases.

I prefer to do it first thing in the morning, if possible, or last thing in the evening during golden hour. And I also use this time to listen to a podcast or some bangin’ tunes.

My basic rule… the lower my mood, the higher my need for a walk.

HELPFUL HINTS

APPROPRIATE CLOTHING: I have found that dressing comfortably makes me more inclined to exercise. So I have invested in comfy, stretchy leggings with a pocket for my phone (I buy Nike Ones), wool socks and a thermal MacPac hoodie for the chilly winter mornings.

FOOTWEAR: I always buy Hoka sneakers (I get Graviota 5s with max stability and plush rating); these are game changers for me if I need to be on my feet for more than half an hour or so. However, if I have to wear more formal shoes or heels, I opt for a podiatry brand called Bared.

*With my beautiful friend Kristy wearing my comfy mum uniform*

4. Less Booze

Over the years, Boots and I have often enjoyed a drink together on a Friday night, and it’s a ritual I am fond of. However, when you have an inflammatory disease, there comes a time when you have to accept that alcohol is not your friend, and therefore, I have (mostly!) swapped wine for Sodaly.

My general rule of thumb is, if I’m not out with friends or entertaining, I don’t drink alcohol.

But if I do happen to be out on the town… I will be downing that margarita guilt-free, and keep your eyes peeled for table dancing.

HELPFUL HINTS

ALCOHOLIC BEVYS: These days, I mostly drink non-alcoholic or lower-alcohol wines (I like Edenvale or South Island White Mist), or sugar-free margaritas, and always in a pretty glass to make me feel festive.

PODCAST: Huberman Lab - What alcohol does to your body, brain & health.

5. Tackle ‘The Paws’ (AKA Peri-Menopause)

Whenever my girl gang and I talk about peri-menopause (which is a lot), we refer to it as ‘The Paws’ and make a ridiculous tucked hand gesture in front of our chest that resembles rabbit paws… oh yes, we think we are hilarious (er, do rabbits even have paws? Our joke may be flawed…).

We also refer to our little blue bottles of Estrogel as ‘The Gear’, so I sincerely hope no one ever eavesdrops on our convos at our small-town coffee shop.

After my little uterine ‘C’ scare, I booked myself into our local Women’s Clinic. I walked in, sat down in front of my kind-looking guenacologist, and promptly burst into tears.

She asked me if I had symptoms of ‘The Paws’, like hot flushes and all those fun things, but nope, all I could get out in between sobs was that I didn’t even know who I was any more.

She gently explained to me that due to my autoimmune condition, I was likely at a higher risk of having low Estrogen levels, and perhaps we should give ‘The Gear’ a go (ok, ok, she didn’t call it The Gear, but I really wanted her to).

I wish I could say one way or the other if Estradiol Gel is making a definitive difference in my life; however, I changed a lot of things around the time I started it.

What I do know is, however, if someone tried to take that little bottle away from me right now, I’d likely crash tackle them to the ground, because I like feeling this good… and I’m not changing a single thing.

HELPFUL HINTS

PROFESSIONAL SUPPORT: Find a female doctor you trust and can cry in front of… now.

PODCASTS: The Imperfects - Dr Louise Newson - Maybe it’s Menopause. And her second episode is also worth a listen; It’s Hormones, Period.

6. Less Stress, More Slowness

THE PITFALLS OF ALWAYS BEING ‘ON’

Around the time of my, er, shall we call it, mini-burnout, I was forced to change the way I work.

I didn’t want to do this because I love my job.

In fact, I think I could argue a pretty good case that I have the best job in the world. I mean, who gets to spend their days helping excellent humans build fabulous, planet-friendly homes?

Yeah, me!

However, I was forced to change things up because my body and mind no longer allowed me to live life in fast-forward.

Essentially, had to find ways to ensure I could switch off and reduce the feeling of always being ‘on’.

So, I reduced my work days and set stricter boundaries around letting it creep into my evenings and weekends. I automated email responses to advise of my working days, scheduled meetings only during working hours, and began practising the art of saying no. I also became kinder to myself in regard to output expectations.

Most importantly, I made sure to schedule more adventure and fun in my life, and hey, a trip to Bali with fifteen of my girlfriends wasn’t a bad way to start ;)

It’s been a tricky adjustment, and hard to stick to at times, but I’m getting there, and I’m sure anyone who runs their own business or has a job that is hard to switch off from can relate.

MINDFULNESS & seasonal depression

I know this sounds ridiculous, however, my office is the only south-facing room in our whole house, and I can no longer go in there.

I’m like a lizard; I think I may be powered by the sun.

I’m completely convinced that seasonal depression is a real thing, and that at times, my happiness is directly linked to the amount of sun I see and feel in a day (maybe this explains my complete and utter obsession with passive house design?).

So, I have temporarily moved my desk to the dining table during these winter months, where I can work bathed in natural light and open the doors to feel a breeze, and it’s helping.

I’m also excited to be creating a new office space, so you will have to stay tuned for the big reveal (no more dark, gloomy office for this little black duck!).

It makes me realise that it is, perhaps, the simplest things that have made the biggest difference: putting the phone down, reading more, working less, resting without guilt, spending more time with loved ones, and committing to a morning routine where I watch the sunrise with my coffee, journal, and put my feet on the grass.

Oh my word, who even am I? That chick sounds zen, I’d like to meet her ;)

FIND A HOBBY

I have a new hobby, and it’s called punch needling (but Boots and Jedda call it picky poking).

It turns out that this little obsession is catching, and Jedda and I now spend many evenings with our wool and picky & poking needles, punching away. We recently made my niece’s birthday pressie (and Boots made the frames) and have now taken on an epic Christmas tree skirt project.

It provides hours of relaxing, calming, repetition with my hands, combined with a healthy dose of creativity, and I’m loving it sick.

And yes, my kids are laughing at me (I’m not exactly your typical crafty type mum), and they have made a bet that my epic tree skirt won’t be done in time for Christmas… but I’ll show them.

Basically, it doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s not doom scrolling, constant binge watching, or any other unhealthy, mind-numbing crutch. Find something that can occupy your hands and your mind, and you will feel better for it.

OTHER HELPFUL HINTS

PUNCH NEEDLING: Check out my new obsession at @theurbanacres on Instagram or YouTube.

PODCAST: The Imperfects - The Elephant in the Relationship (it’s all about the mental load & it’s BLOODY EXCELLENT).

PODCAST: The Mel Robbins Podcast - The Let Them Theory (I find Mel Robbins' persona to be, er, quite ‘American’, but some of her points in these episodes are really helpful).

PODCAST: The Mel Robbins Podcast - Dr Gabor Mate; The Shocking Link Between ADHD, Addiction, Autoimmune Diseases & Trauma.

Oh boy, when I write all this down, it looks like a lot.

And I suppose in the beginning, it was… the rabbit hole was deep!

It was almost like a part-time job there for a while, gathering information and learning through trial and error. But that’s how my brain works; it needs to understand the why and how before I can fully commit to something.

I’m still working on it, but for now, the news is good… my spark is back (or at the very least, it’s on its way).

Heck, just writing this post is a huge win… and I can’t tell you how happy I am to be oversharing again.

Now, I would be lying if I said I’m not worried that the second life throws me another serious curve ball (and it will, because that’s what life does), that this will all fall apart, and I will be deleting this post in a shame spiral because I have gone back to my old ways.

But I can only do my best, feel proud of how far I have come, and cross all my fingers and toes that these changes are here to stay.

Watch out world… she’s back!